The Power of Vulnerability in College Application Essays

Jan 31

Some of the best college application essays I’ve read (and helped students write) are the ones that show their vulnerability, that tell the story of something they’ve struggled with in the past and how they have grown from it.

While coaching Zahraa on her college application, I learned that she struggled with negative body image for a long time and that this affected so many parts of her life. During our sessions, I asked her to tell me more…it started from being bullied in elementary school to being self-conscious about her body in high school. I suggested that she respond to the application prompt by telling this personal story and she asked, “won’t it look bad if I talk about things that I’ve struggled with in my life?” And I told her that if you talk about how you’ve grown from a challenging experience, that will show some great qualities that college admissions officers are looking for - resilience, growth mindset, courage, etc.

Brene Brown, American professor, author, and podcast host known for her work on shame, vulnerability, and leadership has changed the way we think about vulnerability and removed the taboo associated with it. In her widely viewed TEDx talk in 2010, she explores how embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper connections, creativity, and fulfillment in life. She discusses the importance of allowing ourselves to be seen authentically, even though it can be uncomfortable or scary. Brown emphasizes that vulnerability is not a weakness but rather a source of strength and courage. She shares insights from her research, highlighting the essential role vulnerability plays in fostering empathy, resilience, and meaningful relationships.

Back to Zahraa…she told her story in response to The University of British Columbia’s essay prompt, Tell us about who you are. how would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why.

Here’s what she wrote:

"When I looked in the mirror I could find 10 things I wanted to change.

In grade 9, there was a school dance. I was anxious to wear a dress. I bought a dress because my mom said I looked beautiful in it. I hated the way I looked, but didn’t want to look in the mirror and try on more dresses. I went to the dance and spent the whole time looking at myself.

I struggled with negative body image for a long time. After working on myself, I now feel more comfortable in my skin.

For a project about a story that has changed the world, I am looking at the effect Disney princesses have on young girls. Many girls think that if they are not skinny like these princesses, they are not beautiful. Girls need to know that there is no one way to look - everyone is beautiful in their own way.

I want to help girls feel good about their bodies, no matter their size. If they are struggling with their physical health, it will affect their mental health. I want to impact their lives by pursuing a career in the health field.

Last week, I went prom dress shopping. This time was different because I was different. If I didn’t like a dress, it was not about me. The dress didn’t fit my body, not the other way around and I needed to change the dress, not myself. I can’t wait to go to prom and am proud to say that I am not worried about dressing up.

I now know that I am perfect the way I am. There are so many things I want to accomplish in life and I can’t work on those goals if I’m not happy with myself."

I’m so proud of Zahraa - it took a lot of courage to write this in such a public way.

This essay reflects a powerful personal journey and transformation for her…and highlights the following qualities:

Self-Reflection and Personal Growth
Resilience and Confidence Building
Social Awareness and Advocacy
Empathy and Desire to Help Others
Positive Mindset and Self-Acceptance

This essay reveals a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and a commitment to promoting positive body image and well-being for others. Zahraa has not only overcome personal struggles but also aspires to make a positive impact on the lives of others, demonstrating a mature and compassionate perspective.

And this is what Zahraa had to say after completing her application:

“I am celebrating that I have a complete college application that tells the story of who I am, the struggles I have experienced, the self-discovery journey I have been on, and highlights the real ME - resilient, goal-orientated, and compassionate. I feel really good about submitting my application.”